Show Me The Way To Go Home

              Sociologist Larry Bumpass of the University of Wisconsin in Madison says that there is a 

naive notion that children grow up and leave home when they are 18, and the truth is far more that.Today, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 59% of men and 47% of women between 18 to 24 depend on their parents for housing, some living in college dorms but most at home. In the past these percentages were lower. 

            There are many reasons of this. Rising marriage age, high divorce rate and a declining remarriage rate, exorbitant, expense college education are some of them.  Also, willing for an organized life and support both economically and psychologically is another important reasons for living with parents.

          In my opinion, staying with parents is good, on the other hand it is a problematic issue. If people live with their parents for some positive purposes such as saving money, or an ordered

life, it is normal and a right decide. However, there are other people who have to live with their parents because of some negative events that they live. For example, there are a lot of women with children who divorce and come home, I think it is very disgusting situation being dependent to others, but thanks at least they are our parents.

       As for parents, it can be also a problem because living with children of any age involves compromise and obligation, factors that can be detrimental to some aspects of well being. All children, even adult children, require accommodation and create stress.

      All in all, I think whether how much places are narrow, it is enough having wide hearts to live together with love.

AT HOME WITH MAMMA : FOR MANY YOUNG ITALIAN MEN, STAYING IN THE FAMILY NEST IS A MATTER OF GOOD SENSE AND GOOD COOKING

               According to figures recently released by ISTAT, the Italian National Statistics Institute, the number of Italian "boys" between the ages of 18 and 34 living with their parents has reached 58.5 percent, up from 51.8 percent seven years ago. That climbing trend is mirrored across Europe, but almost 30% of Italian men aged 30-34, uniquely, have yet to fly the nest. 

             There are some reasons such strong psychological and cultural roots,but the main reason the boys are at home is economic.In the Anglo-Saxon world, it's easier for 18-year-olds to make it on their own by earning money from jobs and getting scholarship from schools, but not in Italy.Another reason may be being freedom in family. It's no longer the authoritarian family of the past,so young people can now enjoy autonomy within their parents' home.

           The Italian family has indeed changed, but the mother-son relationship remains as strong as ever.Mamma's boys and mothers always try to make each other happy.

          However, this close relationship between boys and mothers sometime can cause problems. For example,because of mothers' obsessive love for their boys, they can't manage to cut the cord when boys marry. Therefore, a lot of marriages break up because mothers are around too much.

I think this is an interesting topic for me because I like good family relationships or crowded, big families and being together. In addition, I like men who are Mamma's Boys :) As I always think that men who are keen on their mamma are also keen on their wife, so I partly agree with the article. Mother-son good relationship is okey, but to some extent. Also, I do not like and agree that people's leave home at very young age. I think it causes cutting the family cords and looking for affection and love from other things

To sum up, Italian boys are doing a good job by staying home with their family before marry.

PowerPhrases: the key to winning respect: saying what you mean and meaning what you say can help you become heard.

          

   

                I chose this article because I think being respected is one of the most important issues in every part of the life. Therefore,  as a person,  we need to know or learn some effective methods that provide us to get that respect.

             According to article, today, respect gets earned, never granted.The first main thing that helps winning respect is self esteem. Self esteem comes from what we project to others, about ourselves, and how it is okey or not okey for them to threat.Of course, there are many things that affect our level of respect. Dress, nonverbal communication   and financial status all affect the level of respect we get.However, words in other words speaking in PowerPhrases still make people's  final assessment about who we ,are and how to treat us.Firstly, A PowerPhrase isa short, specific expression that gets results by saying what you mean, meaning what you say, without being mean when you say it.For example, say less and they understand more,so every time less is more is very important.Secondly, Say what you mean clearly and succinctly then allow space for them to respond in kind. For instance, do not say "The kitchen is a mess" when you mean "Clean up the kitchen." Thirdly, do what you say because people respect people who do what they say. Fourthly, respect the other person, even if that person is not respecting you. And finally, speak kindly. 

         I think, these methods are very effective and useful. I will try to apply all of them step by step in my life.I know they will help me being understood better and win more respect.

           All in all, choose your words and win respect.

The Metamorphosis

 A  novel by Franz Kafka, first published in 1915. It has been cited as one of the seminal works of fiction of the 20th century and is studied in colleges and universities across the Western world.

 "As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect. He was laying on his hard, as it were armor-plated, back and when he lifted his head a little he could see his domelike brown belly divided into stiff arched segments on top of which the bed quilt could hardly keep in position and was about to slide off completely. His numerous legs, which were pitifully thin compared to the rest of his bulk, waved helplessly before his eyes." 

 With this startling, bizarre, yet surprisingly funny first opening, Kafka begins his masterpiece, The Metamorphosis. 

It is the story of a young man who, transformed overnight into a giant beetle-like insect, becomes an object of disgrace to his family, an outsider in his own home, a quintessentially alienated man. A harrowing -- though absurdly comic -- meditation on human feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and isolation, The Metamorphosis has taken its place as one of the most widely read and influential works of twentieth-century fiction.
As W.H. Auden wrote, "Kafka is important to us because his predicament is the predicament of modern man."

 I just read the novel on a recent vacation and my interpretation was the story is a metaphor for the way relationship dynamics change when a loved one is dying. Gregor's transformation into a bug is essentially analogous to receiving the news that one's life as they once knew it is now ever. As he transitions from capable provider to invalid imposition, we see the family proceed through the various stages of grief, finally getting on with their lives when they are no longer burdened with Gregor's death throes. In the novel, I believe Kafka, was commenting on the way in which society stigmatizes the terminally ill (i.e. hiding them away behind closed doors with only the immediate family exposed to their plight). Once Gregor finally accepts his impending death (i.e. transformation), he is freed as is the family.

 This story reminds me about people getting mental disordered and the family don't have a clue what's happening. Have you ever thought about how it would be if one of your family members would become mentally ill and act like another person one day?

das experiment

from a real person :

By Harvey S. Karten.

Have you ever taken part in a psychological experiment? I have, just one in my freshman year at college. Some graduate students assembled eight of us in totally dark room. A pin point of light appeared above our heads. The light seemed to move. Each of us was asked how far the light moved. Little did we know that two of the eight freshmen were shills attempting to influence the behavior of the naive ones like me, to persuade them that the light moved a greater distance than it actually did. In truth, the light did not move at all but a physical law known as the auto-kinetic effect made the light appear to move. Anyway, such an experience is not likely to be made into a movie unless, say, some of us began beating up the shills, which did not happen at least when I was a guinea pig.

A far more cinematic experience takes place in Oliver Hirschbiegel's film "Das Experiment," based on an actual one that took part twenty years earlier in Palo Alto California based in Stanford University. Twenty four men were divided by the professor into two equal groups: one to be guards and others the captors they supervised. Lo, just six days into the two-week experiment, the guards began torturing the prisoners. The plug was pulled.

I think it important to mention that the experiment on which this story is based took part not in Germany but here in the U.S., the land of freedom, lest we consider the similar results that went down at the German lab resulted from the fact that the "guards" were Germans, accustomed perhaps to following orders as good Germans used to be. "Das Experiment" does not therefore appear to be an allegory of Nazism but rather a universal truth. Do you think the results would be replicated? Let's see what happened here...

A dozen Germans from various walks of life are rounded up via an ad promising each 4,000 DM (Deutsche Marken are now obsolete but we're talking $2,000 U.S.) to all those who complete fourteen days in a mock jail. Eight are selected as guards. Twelve are to be their prisoners. On the first day there's a Camp Davidspirit; the guards and prisoners get together and decide to chill for the two weeks, collecting their money nice and easy. But scheisse happens.

One guy, Tarek Fahd (Moritz Bleibtreu), a taxi driver who is a college graduate, gets a job with a newspaper unbeknownst to the others. He is to wear a pair of glasses that can videotape the goings-on and in return the editor will pay him 10,000 DM. This means that he'd better get some drama going and besides he's a wiseass college guy, so he starts taunting the guards. One thing leads to another and the guards go nuts; beating up on the increasingly rebellious prisoners, clubbing them even though violence is prohibited, even shoving one into a black box not a picnic if you're claustrophobic to boot. The battle escalates until near the conclusion of the two-hour pic, Hirschbiegel introduces enough mayhem to qualify "Das Experiment" as a competitor of "XXX."

So what do we make of this? We might have predicted what would happen. After all you don't expect Don Bohlinger and Christoph Darnstadt's screenplay to show the guys living in peace and harmony for the fourteen days! Not only is this a movie but those of us who prepared for the experience know that it's based on the Stanford University experiment in which things go haywire.

However, though we know what's going to happen, we may not be prepared for how involving the film is, how the story pulls us into the action and how we are horrified because the havoc that reigns is not the cartoon mayhem of a 007 experience or a XXX or a cartoon. This is for real. People really do act this way.

In fact the story is so absorbing that I dare say the real purpose of the film is to test not so much what the guards will do to the prisoners who try to humiliate them at first by horsing around and later by serious stuff, but how do we in the audience deal with the situation. If you're itching for blood, Bohlinger, Darnstadt and Hirschbiegel rest their case. Particularly effective acting by Justus von Dohnanyi as the Aryan-appearing guard Berus.

Das Experiment

 In 1971, Stanford University’s psychologists ran a unique experiment designed to test individuals’ reactions to group dynamics within a social situation.

The scientists took a bunch of men, split them into ‘guards’ and ‘prisoners’ and placed them in a mock penitentiary. Each group was supposed to play out their allotted roles, but after only a few days the scientists pulled the plug. The results were just too shocking.

Oliver Hirschbiegel’s debut feature is a fictionalised account of the incident. Journalist Tarek (Moritz Bleibtreu) signs up for the experiment in the hope of getting a story. Within 36 hours, the battle lines between prisoners and guards are drawn. 

Three days later, the group is on the verge of psychological collapse as “subliminal violence and complete de-personalisation” set in. The scientists are ecstatic, but are they still in control?

With its incredibly claustrophobic atmosphere, The Experiment unflinchingly catalogues the ease with which ordinary men become monsters and victims. 

It’s harrowing viewing, with more than an echo of World War Two concentration camps lurking behind the scenes, but to his credit Hirschbiegel doesn’t sensationalise the action. Given the current obsession with televised social experiments (Big Brother, Survivor), this harrowing journey to hell and back couldn’t be more precient – or shocking.

The movie is based on the infamous "Stanford Prison Experiment" conducted in 1971. A makeshift prison is set up in a research lab, complete with cells, bars and surveillance cameras. For two weeks 20 male participants are hired to play prisoners and guards. The 'prisoners' are locked up and have to follow seemingly mild rules, and the 'guards' are told simply to retain order without using physical violence. Everybody is free to quit at any time, thereby forfeiting payment. In the beginning the mood between both groups is insecure and rather emphatic. But soon quarrels arise and the wardens employ ever more drastic sanctions to confirm their authority.

 Watched both the original in German and the remake. After watching those movies I almost have to say "I'm ashamed to be human" Give some people to much power and they turn in to animals, no not animals but monsters. No animal would ever treat another animal like this only to show it's power. They only strike out of hunger or when they or their offspring are in danger.
I think this simply proves that anyone could be that 'monster', or develop similar qualities if put in situations like this. Remember that these people were normal before the experiment (whatever that means). Also, humans do what they're told. So, if one decides something, and he or she is deemed an authority, someone else could be seriously affected. The person's values gets suppressed by doing what's expected by the authority.

öylesine :)

CAUSES OF YOUTH SUICIDE

  
               Today many youth people commit suicide because of many reasons such as death of parent, alienation, rejection, academic pressures and biological reasons.

                    

Firstly, family problems give rise to youth suicide. For example, death of parents is a milestone in a young person's life. In this case, adolescents start to feel loneliness, lose of love and they need to  belong to others. Therefore, they can choose to die like their parents. In high school, one of my friends attempted to kill herself because of missing her dead mother. She believed that she can be with her mother after she died. In addition to dead parents, alienation from family is one of the most important reasons for the young. Some parents control their children  too much or ignore them or some others have to divorce. In these cases, children mostly think that their family love them less, so they can attempt to suicide to get attention. 
                                                                                                             
    Secondly, rejection in love leads to suicide. Because young people are not mature yet , usually they can not think properly. Hence, when they break up with their lover, they can not cope with it and get into depression. They think that they can not live without their lover and want to die. For example, last year my room mate's lover attempted to suicide by taking pills.At the and he had to take a help by going to psychologist.
                                                                                                            
      Thirdly,sometime teenagers who suffer from academic pressures try to suicide. Most of the young, fear for failing to get into a good university or just university.Society pressure is also another factor for students. In addition, during university they feel under stress because of it. However, it dose not finish being successful in school, it is also important to have a job and good career, so they all may become a reason for suicide for the young .(!)
                                                                                                                                                                            Finally, youths may commit suicide because of biological reasons. Some scientists say that genetic component may be a reason for suicide.They also assert that young people who have a relative committing suicide are at more risk than others. Another biological reason that causes it is a specific brain chemistry called serotonin.Some researchers indicate that people who have attempted to commit suicide may also have low levels of the brain chemical serotonin. 
                                                                                                                                                        
           All in all,young people have  a tendency to suicide because  of some reasons such as family problems, rejection in love, academic pressure and biological components.

FACEBOOK

             
 
  
           Nowadays, almost each student has one Facebook account or more. Facebook affects students negatively in two ways. The first effect of Facebook can be called  'Face Book Depression'. When students spend too much time on Facebook, they may begin to show classic signs of depression, such as altering sleep and eating habits, hanging out with different   friends, or becoming socially isolated. They may begin to lose their face-to-face relationships. For instance, many friends of my know their Facebook friends' name as name and surname, I think it causes to spoil sincerity between them. Also, while they can easily communicate; share their problems, feelings and thoughts on Facebook, they do not even look or recognize these people in their real life. Furthermore, stalking people, hacking into accounts, getting too much involved in unknown people impact teens' and college students' minds. For example, when one deals with an unknown person too much, his/her mind will be full of unnecessary information and s/he wastes too much time for nothing.

             The second effect of Facebook is being addictive. A lot of students these days are quite addicted to Facebook. Due to this, they become less productive on their daily life. Some students spend long hours, sometimes days connected to the site, so they always look tired and sleepless. Facebook addiction has also started being recognized as a psychological disorder all over the world. In some countries, students take professional help in order to get rid of this addiction. For instance, in Serbia, a rehabilitation clinic was opened for people who are addicted to the 'like'  button of Facebook.
 

     In conclusion, Facebook affects students'  mind negatively and is destroying their health physically and psychologically.